In 4th grade, I was overflowing with distraction and awkwardness. I had a teacher that was... Tolerant of me, but definitely not fond. I had one friend who would run across the playground with me pretending we were power rangers instead of playing soccer like the other normal children. Looking back, she was so kind to look past my social retardation and still play with me.
In the classroom, we had two guinea pigs as the class pets. We took turns bringing them home for the weekend and taking care of them. The whole class absolutely adored the guinea pigs. There was a male and a female, and the female had recently become pregnant. Every chance we got, we would touch the them, pet them, hold them, baby talk to them, etc. They were like family to us.
On one spectacular show and tell day, a classmate had brought in his iguana.
While show and tell was a normal embarrassment for me, (as the only thing I ever had to show off were my X-Men collectible cards and vegetables that had grown in our garden) an iguana was a sure way to achieve cool kid status. I was jealous, but revered him for having such an exotic pet and great parents for letting him have it.
He brought it to the back of the classroom, where each of us could get a chance to pet it if we wanted to. Of course, most girls didn't really want much to do with it, but everyone else (myself included) couldn't pass up the chance to get up close to the lizard. Our teacher told us that we could all pet it if we wanted to, but we mustn't pet it and then touch the guinea pigs under any circumstances without washing our hands first, as the iguana carried Salmonella.
I was so excited to be able to pet the lizard - I had always really enjoyed watching them in their cages at the pet store, wishing that I could have one. I waited my turn in line as patiently as I could, and was nearly bursting when it came my turn. I ran my hand down it's rough scales, noting that it wasn't slimy or gross at all. I looked at it's claws and tail, studying how different it was from normal pets. It soon came time for my turn to end - I was really happy that I had the chance to spend time with the lizard, but disappointed it was over so fast.
Feeling the need for more animal companionship, I suddenly remembered that we had the guinea pigs too, so quickly forgotten when the more exotic pet had made an appearance. I quickly went over to their cage and took both out. I sat down with them both in my lap, gently stroking their soft fur and listening to the small, content noises they made. I was proud of myself that I had remembered them, and thought that they must have felt left out. I was being so kind to the poor guinea pigs!
Show and tell time ended and we went back to our normal class business. The day progressed as any other day, and I went home to tell my parents about the iguana that the boy had brought into class.
The next morning was when the horror was presented to us: Our beloved guinea pigs had died overnight. The teacher said that she wasn't sure why they died, but these things happen, and it would be understandable if we were sad. I was a little upset, the thought that we didn't get much time with them and that the girl guinea pig was pregnant when she died was definitely saddening. We were all so excited about the prospect of baby guinea pigs.
This is when the awful and shocking truth hit me: I murdered the guinea pigs. I recalled like a vivid nightmare how I went straight to their cage after petting the lizard without washing my hands. I held them and pet them without realizing the damage I was doing at the time! I spread the disease to them, I killed the two little creatures and the unborn babies!
My grief and shock quickly turned into paranoid anxiety. Did anyone else know it was me? Did anyone see what I did? What was going to happen to me if anyone did know? I darted my eyes around the classroom, to see if anyone might be looking in my direction.
I didn't notice anyone, but I slinked down into my seat hoping to become invisible anyway.
I decided to keep this revelation to myself, hoping that someone else might admit guilt to doing the same thing. No one ever did. I felt little and empty in the giant universe, I was a horrible person. I felt like there was a giant spotlight on me, and that I would surely be ousted as Kristen, the class pet killer. In the days and weeks that followed, the memory of my crime slowly faded and the class recovered from the loss of the pets.I never was able to come to terms with my horrible unintentional act, but I absolutely couldn't bring myself to tell a soul. From that moment on, I was destined to join the ranks of the bad people in the world. I was now a bad person, and no action could ever undo what I had done.
I felt terrible for a long time over the poor, poor guinea pigs. I unknowingly murdered them by being the carrier of a deadly virus. I WAS A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON!!! It's unfortunate that I hadn't remembered this story before I had licked the gecko, or else I might have remembered the repurcussions of Salmonella.
We never got another class pet.
