Namely, you're open to the elements and road conditions.
Being exposed to the cold or the rain is annoying, but can be thwarted by wearing proper water-resistant gear or bundling up in a couple layers. Being on a bike on a really hot day just means taking off a couple layers.
Road conditions are a little harder to overcome, however. Potholes, while they can be bad to the tires or suspension on your car, become detrimental to those things as well as your crotch on a motorcycle.
Getting stuck behind a stinky truck in your car is gross, but usually, rolling up the windows and turning off the air takes care
of most of the problem. Getting stuck behind a stinky truck in your motorcycle is like giving the tailpipe a blow job.
Now, all of these things I had expected to encounter whilst riding a motorcycle. I completely understood that I would no longer be enclosed in the protective kennel that is a car. I would get hot, I would get cold, I would get wet and I would sometimes be uncomfortable. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love riding. Feeling the wind against my body while going down a twisty road promotes a wonderful sense of joy and freedom that I had never felt before.
The one thing that I absolutely did not consider was the utter repulsiveness of roadkill.
While roadkill is awful in any case, it is especially offensive on a motorcycle.
Think about driving down the road in a car. You see a dead raccoon on the side of the road and you either think "aww." or "gross." or whatever. It's usually rolled over on its side, a little bloated, and you imagine (well I do) that it had a family or it was just trying to find some food or something and its life was abruptly ended by a Ford Bronco pummeling down the highway road.
Riding past roadkill on the bike is a little different. It's still on the side of the road, a little bloated, and as you're rolling up closer to it, you think "aww." or "gross." or whatever. When you come up on it, it's a whole different story.
You can clearly see that rigor mortis has set in. Its little limbs are stuck like a dead cartoon dog.
It's very bloated.
Blood has coagulated around its mouth, and its tongue is hanging out.
Its sharp yellow teeth are exposed.
Its eyes are bulging and filled with terror and death.
It not only stinks, it is omitting an extremely offensive odor that will fill your helmet. Once it has filled your helmet, you think "WOW, that is fucking disgusting." A moment passes, and all of a sudden, it's like the rankest fart that was ever emitted. It's thick. Not only do you smell it, it is now the horrid wet stale taste filling your mouth.
You speed past, hoping that the wind will blow the stench away. It does, but now you are left with a slight nausea, hoping that you won't paint the inside of your full face helmet with what you had for lunch.
I can't say that I regret riding the bike full time at all, but the horror that is roadkill definitely makes me wish that I had a car sometimes.
What if you ranned over a raccoon on your motorcycle? Would it knock you over?
ReplyDeleteI don't think so, but I would not be happy with the raccoon blood on my pants.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college on of my friends was Carolyn, she was a post-grad in the art department. Her classmate used to collect road kill and have it in various states of decay in her art studio. She would then take the skeleton and whatever was left of the fur and put it in her artwork. I am not sure exactly what her thesis was for this type of art. But she saw beauty in break down and death.
ReplyDeleteThat is mildly disturbing... :\
ReplyDeleteVery disturbing the smell was gross and it made me gag. I didn't like going by her studio. It made me ill. I really just couldn't get even past the smell. I like to pretend they are sleeping raccoons.
ReplyDelete