Monday, August 2, 2010

Spiders

I hate spiders. A lot.

They creep the shit out of me. Yes, I know I'm like a kagillion times bigger and stronger than them. Doesn't change the fact that they are creepy. I think it's the way they move that really gets to me -- and that when they do make an appearance, it always seems to be inches from my face. They're like gross little ninjas.

Thus, I have compiled a list.

8 ways to kill a spider:

1. Stomp
stomp


2. Swat
swat




3. Crush
crush





4. Spray

a. With spider killer

b. With household cleaners
c. With hairspray

spray




5. Starve
starve



6. Set on fire
lightonfire


a. Set on fire in conjuncture with hairspray
lightonfirewithspray




7. Point out to cat
catwatchingspider




8. Eat :(
yuck.

5 comments:

  1. I like this definition from Urban Dictionary:

    A little creature that causes people to drive their cars into a ditch.

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  2. Fried tarantula is a delicacy in Cambodia.

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  3. I, too, hate spiders with a passion. My bf woke up from a dead sleep the other night insisting that there was a huge spider on the ceiling above us. Needless to say, not only was there no spider, but there was also no sleep for me for several hours after.

    I prefer the squish method, myself. It's where I run to the bathroom, grab some TP, go back, attempt to squish it while simultaneously trying to jump out of the possible drop pattern of the spider, smash the TP in my hands a bit, open it up to make sure it's 1) in there, and 2) dead, and then run back to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet in order to ensure there cannot be a zombie spider uprising.

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  4. I am on the same page...I will not go anywhere near one. They move weird... :(

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  5. Oh yeah, I forgot...I also will avoid letting my kitties attack them at any cost because regardless of what type of spider it is, I am convinced my cat will fail and then die from a spider bite.

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