Baywatch Sandals

When I was a child, innumerable things went wrong in my little life to produce the colorful adult personality I have today.

While I will blog about many of these stories in the days and weeks to come, I wanted to share a particularly bad experience I had one summer when I was about 10.

Baywatch was a really hot show during that time, and I absolutely dreamed of becoming a buxom beauty that saved lives and always got the good looking guys.( Mind you, I had red hair, freckles and braces.) So much for that pipe dream.

One day, I was at Walgreens with my dad, and stumbled upon official licensed baywatch sandals. It was meant to be. Wearing those sandals would surely make me into that person I wanted to be.

Soon after acquiring said sandals, my dad and I took a road trip down the Oregon coast with a friend of mine. It started out a great trip - we stopped at Tillamook Cheese Factory, watched how they made the cheese blocks, ate ice cream and bought cow plushies.

The disappointment came when we reached the beach. I was very excited to show off my Baywatch sandals to the world, as while wearing them, of course I was not the geeky-looking kid. I WAS PRETTY.

Of course, my friend had not brought sandals with her and wanted to borrow mine so she could wade in the shore (as if she didn't KNOW how magical the sandals were...). Reluctantly, I let her use them, but on the condition that she was really careful to not lose them.

Inevitably, she lost a sandal. She told me right away and I immediately started frantically searching around for it with my feet and hands. After about 5 minutes, I lost hope, figuring that my poor sandal had been swept out to ol' Davey Jones locker. But then! I felt something bump into my foot! It was my lost sandal!

I quickly snatched it up,but what was in my hand was not my lost sandal.It was a crab.

As soon as I realized, I screamed and threw the crab up in the air.

Watching the whole scene from the beach, my dad was laughing his ass off.

It was time to leave anyway, so we packed up our stuff, my pouty face and all and headed back to the car.

Friend said she was sorry again about the sandal, and I said it was ok, but I secretly hold a grudge to this day.

When we got into the car, I was so distraught about my incomplete pair of baywatch sandals I ended up shutting my bare foot in the door.