NyQuil

I have recently come down with something I have affectionately named mutant zombie death virus. Try as I might to sleep without taking NyQuil, my attempts have been futile. 


NyQuil is great and terrible all at the same time. It's great because 10 to 15 minutes after you have ingested it, you are completely passed out wherever you happened to be at that moment in time (hopefully you prepared for this reaction and were laying in your bed awaiting your coma courtesy of Vicks).


It's terrible because when you do wake up, you have completely no recollection of anything that happened after you took the dose of the green monster. You get up, take your shower, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth - Not because you are actually thinking of getting ready for work, you just know your morning routine and your brain is acting solely out of habit. No, you don't actually come out of the coma until you are a few hours into your workday and realize that you have absolutely no fucking clue to what happened after you took the NyQuil and the present point in time. 


What's also not so great about it is the taste. Vicks has made absolutely no effort in making the substance even remotely palatable. No, it's taste is in fact, absolutely abhorrent and offensive. 


Regardless, after I downed my shot of legal liquid rufies last night, I decided I would open up a notepad and write down all the thoughts that came through my mind. I have not edited the below, not even for grammar. Here it is in it's full glory. Enjoy:










I have a terrible cold, but right now, I am high on Nyquil. I decided that I would document this time and share it with the world... Random thoughts are flowing through my mind... I watched Star Trek: TNG all day today, so some of my thoughts have to do with that. Picard. Yeah. Other things, bit more random, like do butterflies fart? I had this really cool bush at my old house, someone said it was a butterfly bush - it smelled really good and the butterflies were all about it. Like a moth to a flame... Or a butterfly to a butterfly bush. Everything is super slow motion. Once, long ago, in a galaxy far far away - North Carolina - I wanted  to drink, but I was not of age to go get alcohol. Instead, me and my cohort had this great idea to go buy nyquil and drink that instead. She got half the bottle down and then threw up. I managed to get the whole bottle down. I shit you not, I was high for 3 days. I probably should have gone to the hospital. I was so high that I realized that I was really high but I didn't care at all, I was just enjoying watching all the moving things with trailers. Tripping balls, as it were. 
Bad experience. Never do that again. However, every time I take nyquil, it reminds me of that time. Don't do it. 
When you're all out of your mind like this, you really start to think of the meaning of things. Objects seem foreign, words seem misspelled somehow. Toilet. That's a weird word. What if you could magically transform into a pteradactyl? Would you use your powers for good? I think that I might do not so great things, like terrorize my exes. But, only if they didn't know I was the pteradactyl. But, I would probably get shot or something if I was a pteradactyl, so I wouldn't particularly want that power anyway. I don't want to get shot. Although, I'm pretty sure you need to take down a pteradactyl with something more rudamentary, like a spear or maybe even a bow and arrow. Pteradactyls might be immune to gunshots. Actually, I'm pretty sure they are. Magical Pteradactyls. I really like the color green. I went and got a new drivers license the other day... I made sure to do my make-up really nicely, brushed my hair, even practiced my looks in front of the mirror. I was trying to decide if I wanted to do a small, closed-mouth smile, like "this is my identification, I am not happy in this picture, it is only to identify me, it has no memory of fun attached to it." But, I was also thinking about doing the nice smile, so people who looked at my license might know that I am fun to be around and want to get to know me better. I also considered doing maybe even a bit of a funny face, like one raised eyebrow and a  coy smile. Like "yeah, I'm a total badass, I don't care what you think" I'm really not a badass, but sometimes I want people to think I am. Like, make up this completely different identity for myself that's a badass. Yeah, I smoke, I drink, sometimes I climb fences because I want to. I'm the most badass chick you'll ever know. That probably wouldn't really  work out, because I would inevitably show my true colors and somehow make a fool of myself. I really embarrass myself a lot. I would probably fall climbing the fence or rip my pants or something. I woke up on the couch earlier tightly wrapped up in my blanket like a burrito. I'm not quite sure how I got that way, but I was really really hot, so I threw the blanket off of me and tried to turn over but at that point I had woken up from my nap and would not get back to sleep, even though I felt so crappy. At least there's no more fleas biting me. I have seen a couple here and there, but I imagine that they're brought in from outside and die quickly when they snack on the cats which I have sneakily and cleverly put flea treatment on, thereby poisioning their food source. While watching Star Trek today, I realized that I really really want a food replicator. I'm sure I'd have to pay some sort of monthly fee for it, or it would be really expensive outright, but on demand food sounds pretty promising. Feel like mac and cheeze? You got it. Mashed potatoes? Super easy. French fries? Hot and fresh. I would probably get really fat. On the other hand, I would also probably spend a lot of time giggling and saying "Tea. Earl grey. Hot." ... I would use up a lot of it's resources doing that. What would it use? Some crazy sci fi tech resource like palladium or nutronium or poweryourshitonium. I get really loopy on nyquil. Everthing kinda seems a bit surreal, like I'm in a dream. Sounds are like, amplified. I want a burrito. Yeah. With rice. And beans. And sour cream.